What are you doing for summer vacation?  This week we are leaving for a family vacation and spending some time at the beach. This is our first vacation with just the four of us and I’m really looking forward to it. Do you have plans?  Take the poll and let us know and let us know in the comments what you’re doing.

Have you ever tried your hardest to be something you’re not?  Tried to fit in with a group of people by talking about something you thought was dumb or saying you liked a band or a movie because everyone else did even though you’ve never heard or seen them?  I think we all do it at some point, sometimes multiple times a day.  Afraid that we aren’t going to “fit” in or that people are going to think we’re weird because of who we are.  We hold back certain aspects of ourselves, we keep little bits of information inside and hope that people don’t find out so they don’t give you weird looks.  I do it all the time.  I used to try so hard to fit in that it consumed me.

What got me thinking about this you ask?  Well, it’s something I seem to always come back around to at one point or another, but it was brought on by some conversations that were had with different people this week.  Why am I afraid to be ME around everyone?  Why do I pick and choose who I am myself around and how much of myself I allow them to see?  It’s somewhat ridiculous but we all feel so compelled to do it.  We should be proud of who we are, proud of all the little things that makes us tick but instead we put on these masks and go incognito so that we can numb the false shame that we drag ourselves into when it comes to being real.

God created each and every one of us unique.  We are His craftsmanship, His work, His design….how can we find fault in it when we are perfectly designed by Him?  I have come to realize that I am NEVER going to fit into the mold of what both society and the church tell me I should fit into.  Never.  I am learning it’s OK not to and that by hiding who I really am, I am doing a discredit to my Creator and robbing others of the gifts that God has given me to pour out into others lives.  Do you want to know who I really am?  Here it goes:

• I am a Christian
• I am a husband to Nicole
• I am a dad to Brayden and Makenna
• I am an employee at Aetna Insurance
• I attend Life Bridge Church
• I am a volunteer youth leader
• I like comic books and super heroes
• I like Harry Potter
• I’ve read the Twilight Series
• I love Bollywood music and movies
• I love musical theater and would love to see a show on Broadway someday
• I love to read everything
• I love any and almost all kinds of movies and music
• I don’t like sports and probably will never get into them
• I don’t know the slightest thing about cars
• I couldn’t hunt an animal if my life depended on it
• I should have been raised in the city
• I am an emotional eater
• I have a short fuse sometimes
• I don’t spend as much time as I should in the Word
• I sometimes doubt the depth of my relationship with Christ
• I feel lonely when I’m with a group of men, like I don’t belong
• I question what my calling is in life
• I am me….

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This was my first book I received through a program called Book Sneeze where you are able to choose from a list of available books from the publisher, they send you the book for free and then you write a 200 word review for the book in your blog and on a website like Amazon or Barnes & Noble.  Then when you’re done you pick an new book and you get to keep the other one for free.  I love books so this was an easy decision for me to sign up for this and I was extremely pleased with my first selection.

If I had more time to read I would have gotten through this book in an entire day.  It was compelling, captivating, and Ian’s story telling drags you in completely.  It may sound like I’m describing a fiction novel, but it was what he calls “semi-autobiographical”, about his life growing up with an alcoholic dad that he later found out worked on and off for the C.I.A.

I can’t imaging living the way that Ian did, with an alcoholic dad who you had to tip toe around for fear of what his reaction may because you didn’t know how drunk he was at any given moment.  How they went from a life of riches among the most notable people and celebrities of Hollywood and the UK to 7 people living in a small apartment in Connecticut.  It’s all these situations and how he describes them that get you addicted to the book from the very beginning.

The way he tells a story makes it feel like it actually happened to you and not him.  I found myself laughing out loud several times when talking about growing up in the Catholic church in the 1960′s or going on a road trip with friends to a Steve Miller Band concert.  I also found myself close to tears several times when he described encounters or confrontations with his dad or being bullied by older kids while in elementary school.  But through everything from the very beginning until the last page there was this evidence of God weaving His presence into Ian’s life, calling to him in small moments, wooing his heart even though Ian didn’t realize it.

I’m not the best at writing book reviews and I don’t necessarily relate to everything that Ian experienced in the book, but I would highly recommend it to anyone to read.  There is something there for everyone whether it’s the person who knows God deeply and loves to see how God works things together for His good out of the most dire of circumstances or the person who barely came out of that situation alive and has a hard time believing God could allow that to happen.  There is something there for everyone.  I will definitely search out more books by Ian Morgan Cron

How do I describe Brad?  I don’t know how to and I mean that in a good way.  We don’t get to talk that often because of both of our schedules and that little time difference between here and Australia, but when we do I always come away feeling encouraged and better about myself somehow.  I don’t even think he realizes that there is a spirit of freedom that follows him around wherever he goes, he is who he is and he makes no excuses for it.  That’s something I need to become more of.  I respect him a lot, who he is, what he does and how he lives life.  Please follow him on twitter at @bcrab or check out his blog.

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A little girl was playing in a playground. The piece of equipment she chose to climb towered above her – a daunting behemoth of rope and metal that would test the will of even the most seasoned four year old. Reaching out, she grasped the rope and started pulling herself up. Hand over hand and focused on nothing else, she easily put distance between her and the ground. Upon reaching a difficult area, she stopped to evaluate her situation. As she looked around, she suddenly realised…this beast was much, much higher than she ever imagined. She also realised something else; she was afraid! Looking around, she tried to find someone who could help. The one person in the whole playground who could tame this savage monster and bring her back to safety: Dad!

After what seemed like an eternity, she finally found him. She looked into his eyes and was about to cry for help when something stopped her. Something wasn’t quite right. While she was in despair, he didn’t look upset. In fact, he didn’t look worried at all. He was smiling! And not just smiling, he was cheering! Her father was cheering for her. Was he crazy? Could he see the situation she was in?

As if to show him, the little girl turned back to the monolith that had trapped her but as she did, she noticed something she hadn’t seen before. If she moved her foot like this… then put her hand over here…well, this changes things. Looking back at her father, she saw the look on his face again. He always knew she could do it and wasn’t concerned at all. And now, neither was she.

On she climbed. Over the top and down again. Surely no other kids had done this! As she reached the end, she felt the arms of her father lifting her up and spinning her in the air. She felt the warmth of his breath against her and heard him cheer and shout and tell everyone in the park what she had done. That she had done it. All by herself! He was proud of her and she never stopped smiling as she climbed it again!”

As a parent, I’ve come to realise there are many things that our kids need from us (healthy food, clean clothes and a warm bed would certainly top the list) but there is one thing that will serve them much greater than almost anything else. One thing that is very easily forgotten in the rush of life and routine but is, in my opinion, just as essential as food and shelter. As a father, it is my one driving objective.

I’m talking about identity. Their identity. A confidence in who they are and what they can achieve.

If I can leave my kids with nothing else, I want them to believe that they are powerful beings; capable of anything they set their minds to. They are smarter and stronger than they realise and they have the most powerful force in the universe in their corner: their father!

My little girl still climbs over things that tower above her, as do her brothers and sister. Some days carry more confidence than others, but isn’t that just like life? We face the world with what we have and borrow the strength we need from those around us.

Until my kids have confidence in their own power, I’m more than happy for them borrow mine.

Paul Sims describes himself on Twitter (via @thepaulsims) this way: “I’m a dad, Christ follower, music-digger, smart aleck, husband, armchair military strategist, Farsi student, writer, pho-tog & LC.tv #churchonline volunteer.” His blog is
http://fixinto.posterous.com/. He and his family reside in Auburn, Alabama.

Sometimes, writing about something one does everyday is difficult, especially when its as personal as being a parent.

After scrapping one idea headed in the wrong direction, I turned to my wife, who had a great suggestion – write a letter to my pre-father self. So here goes – I’m writing to me, seven years ago.

—
Paul,

Hey! You are about to go through some stuff you’ve wanted for some time but aren’t fully prepared for, so let me tip you off to a few things you’ll need to know.

First of all, you’ll start a habit you’ll have difficulty breaking and that’s finishing your family’s food. It starts when your wife orders more food than she can eat while pregnant, but it spills over to the child too. If you want to get down to a reasonable weight, you’ll need to find a way to curtail this. Or just work out more.

You’ll fall in love with your child from the very first time you see her – and it sticks. Sometimes, she won’t listen to or follow your instructions very well but any frustration you have over this will be short-lived, because she’s either saying something amazingly brilliant or belting out the latest song she’s come across seconds later.

The first few weeks, you won’t get much sleep as she adjusts to being out in the world, but pretty soon you’ll be the one who usually gets her ready for bed, reads out of a book to her, picks a Bible passage to share and tells her a story about a girl who lives out a very similar day to the one she’s had.

In the early going, you’ll need to add at least another hour to every four hours of travel on road trips. Stops become less necessary over time but travel will take more time than you’re used to it taking.

And for much of her young life, you won’t be able just to come and go as you please. Either you or your wife will need to be around the house while she’s home. Breaks for both you and your spouse will be appreciated and necessary.

But none of this worth the price of not having her in your life. Pretty soon you won’t trade you’re experiences as a Dad for anything. But you won’t know it yet for certain until you’ve lived it.
—
What are some of things you’d wish you’d known before you became a parent?

One of my first memories about Nathan is that he was a friend of Adam and got me to participate in my first ever fantasy football league. If any of you know me, that in itself is a feat worth celebrating and I am even considering doing it again this year. Nathan is one of those guys that you know you could instantly just hang out with and get along with immediately. If you follow him for any amount of time you will find that he loves his family immensely and only loves God more. Also, you will be ashamed of his parenting skills by looking at their letter of the week drawings on Instagram….ridiculous. You can also follow him on twitter at: @nathanduvall.

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When Brandon asked me to write a guest post on parenting, my first reaction was “oh crap…” because a) at the time, I hadn’t written a blog post of my own in almost 2 months and b) I’m just a father to a 2-year old little boy (Landon), and on my best day, I feel like I’m just flailing my way through fatherhood. But here I am and here we go! It’s an honor to be asked to do this, thanks for the opportunity, Brandon.

So what’s a guy who’s still fairly new at this daddy thing supposed to write about fatherhood or parenting? I’m not about to give parenting advice – I’ll be the first one to admit I parent on the “wing and a prayer” method… wing it and pray to God that I don’t screw my kid(s) up in the process. But if there’s one thing I have learned in my short tenure as a Father, it’s this: parenting (or being a good Father) has very little to do with what I say or even what I do, as much as it does with how I live. It’s more about my character as child of God than my actions as a father to my kids… although one typically effects the other to an extent.
Kevin DeYoung wrote a great post on parenting the other week – if you haven’t read it, here’s the link – it’s a great, quick read. This is one of my favorite quotes from his post – he’s right on:

I worry that many young parents are a) too adamant about the particulars of their parenting or b) too sure that every decision will set their kids on an unalterable trajectory to heaven or hell. It’s like my secretary at the church once told me: “Most moms and dads think they are either the best or the worst parents in the world, and both are wrong.” Could it be we’ve made parenting too complicated? Isn’t the most important thing not what we do but who we are as parents? They will see our character before they remember our exact rules regarding television and twinkies.

Society has always tried to dictate and complicate how we should parent – but in the end, the only thing that really matters is that we’ve introduced our kids to their Heavenly Father — the perfect parent, the one that will never leave them or forsake them and will never let them down. We don’t accomplish this by taking our kids to church or by teaching them the 10 commandments or by praying before supper and bedtime. All those things are well and good, but the only thing they’ll remember is how we’ve lived and how much we’ve loved the Father. To say I fail at this would be an epic understatement. But it’s my heart’s desire that my kids see my love for Jesus more than anything else I ever say or do.

I’ll be honest, I’ve never really known what it is I’m supposed to “be” or “do” in life. God’s never really laid out any definitive plans for me, He’s simply asked me to be faithful where He’s placed me — maybe He’s waiting for me to make some headway there first! Ha! But the only thing that I’ve ever really known for certain is that I wanted to be a husband and father — beyond that, it’s all a bit hazy. When I held my little boy for the first time 2 1/2 years ago, the second part of that dream came true. I instantly fell in love with this little guy who was utterly dependent on me for EVERYTHING. The responsibility and weight of that instantly brought me to tears, because in that moment, I realized there was no greater responsibility God could give me than to raise my son to love Him. And while the weight of that responsibility is enormous, there is no greater feeling in the world than being a dad… and being called “Daddy”, is there not? You can have THE worst day ever, but as soon as you walk through the door at the end of the day and see your son or daughter run up to you for a hug, everything else melts away.

Being a dad has changed me in so many ways — both good and bad. It’s caused me to re-prioritize my life and re-evaluate what really matters and what doesn’t. It’s also changed how I view my relationship with God. For the first time in my life, I finally understand (at least to an extent), what “unconditional love” really means. There is not one thing my little boy can say or do that will make me stop loving him… just as there is not one thing I can do or say that will make God stop loving me. For me, the journey of Fatherhood has just started. I’ve got so much to learn and I’ve failed so much already. But I know the key is for me to keep my eyes on my Heavenly Father so that my little boy will see Him, not me.

Happy Father’s Day to all of you dad’s out there! Being a dad is one of the hardest jobs out there, the only thing harder is being a mom.

~ Nathan

So I don’t keep repeating myself, I have met everyone guest posting this week through twitter. David Goodwin is a very remarkable guy in my opinion and I think many would agree. First of all, if you have something other than an American accent then you have already moved up a few notches in my book. Second, he is one of the most transparent, honest, and down to earth people I have met. I encourage you to follow the links he’s included in this post to learn more about him, his life, and his family and also follow him on twitter: @dg4g.

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Fatherhood. What on earth do I know about that? I’ve got some hazy experience in being a son, but fatherhood? Not a lot.

Those were my initial thoughts when Brandon asked if I’d be part of this week of Father’s Day posts. Honoured to be asked, baffled as to how I could take part. But at the same time, I realised I might have a slightly different perspective on this fatherhood business, and I don’t just mean from studying God’s word and getting to know His father heart for us day by day – great as that is!

For starters, I think I’m the oldest of the dads writing this week, but my only child is the youngest. In fact, he or she won’t even be exposed to oxygen in gas form until around August. And let’s face it, fathering a child in-utero is considerably easier than the years to come!

I also believe I’ve been married longer than the other dads, with Diane’s & my 9th anniversary following hot on the heels of our child’s grand entrance to the world outside the womb.

In other words, I’ve had a long time – both before marriage and since – to get very used to being childless. And in fact, for most of my life, I thought that’s how it might always be. Diane and I had also talked a little about adoption in recent years, and done some preliminary investigation into what that involves.

And then, in the midst of the greatest year of transition we’ve ever had, we find that something which had never happened during our lives in Australia had happened within months of settling in Northern Ireland : we were pregnant. I was also only semi-employed, we lived with my mother-in-law, and while we knew we still wanted children by whatever means, there was nothing about our situation in late 2010 that suggested bringing a child into the midst of it would be a good idea.

But that’s exactly what was happening, and so in my usual “get-stuck-in-and-make-the-most-of-it” attitude to life, I set about doing what I thought I should be doing : supporting my wife through all the crazy changes she was experiencing, and doing my best to provide for my growing family. And with the support of my extended family – and yes, by extended family I am mostly referring to my church – today we are employed, living in our own place, and feeling a little more prepared to bring a baby into the world in a few short weeks.

I think. Maybe you should check if I still feel that way in 6 weeks time…

So I’m going to continue soaking in the wisdom of men who’ve been doing this dad thing longer than me; God’s provided me with a whole bunch of amazing men to learn from, all across the world. I have a feeling I’ll never stop learning, and I love that. And I figure if love is first in all things, it’s a good foundation for my child having the best likelihood at understanding just how much they are loved – not just by mum & dad, but by the creator of love Himself. That’s my prayer – that I reflect God’s father heart as I father my child; His child.